I need to preference I forgot to take my typical anxiety /depression / insomnia meds because it was already so late when I came home that I honestly forgot. But here is the dream: I was in my apartment looking out onto the coffee shop I work part time. I was night time and no workers were there, a single light lighting up the entrance. I knew it had to be cleaned and it was completed by the staff that day. I wanted to go down there but I worried about me going down there and turning on other lights customers would start to come through the drive-thru, so I waiting thinking about it. While waiting, my phone went off and my "boyfriend" texted me saying "I'm free at 9 pm for your birthday, come then tonight". In the real world- it's not my birthday and he is my ex-boyfriend though we still talk so in the dream I was a little surprised by this comment and his name in my phone having a heart by it. I texted back "aww thanks. I will try. I have something to complete first then I'll try to make it your direction". When I came back from the text I had decided I needed to clean the coffee shop enough though there was the worry before. I was somehow across the street and basically acted like I "snuck in" to the coffee shop. I tried not to turn on light to see the dirt and grime, and when I did, it was not good. I tried to only have half the lights on because I needed some on to see and clean. I got about half clean when I heard the drive thru bell go off when then I dropped to the floor and hid. I hid the rest of my time there continuing to clean though I heard the drive thru bell a few more times. I finished cleaning, closed up and walked back to my apartment. When I looked at the time it was the middle of the night and I didn't feel like going anyway so I went to sleep in my dream.
Your dream offers several layers of meaning that reflect your current emotional state and subconscious thoughts, particularly in light of your recent experience with anxiety, depression, and insomnia.
Setting and Atmosphere: Apartment and Coffee Shop The juxtaposition of your apartment and the coffee shop can symbolize the dual nature of your life. Your apartment represents your personal space, a place of comfort, safety, and isolation, while the coffee shop symbolizes your social life, workplace obligations, and perhaps a part of your identity tied to your role and responsibilities. The night setting may evoke a feeling of uncertainty or hidden emotions, indicating that you are navigating through a dark period in your life.
Cleaning the Coffee Shop The act of wanting to clean the coffee shop might suggest a desire for clarity and order in your life, wanting to take control and address issues that have accumulated over time. However, the anxiety associated with turning on the lights and the longing to avoid customer interaction mirrors your internal struggle with anxiety and depression—wanting to confront your fears while simultaneously feeling the impulse to retreat.
The Text from Your Ex-Boyfriend Receiving a message from your ex-boyfriend, especially with the heart symbol next to his name, speaks volumes. This could signify lingering feelings and unresolved attachments. His invitation to meet for your "birthday" could reflect a desire for reconnection or celebration, perhaps tied to feelings of nostalgia and memories you shared. The fact that it is not your birthday may indicate that you are grappling with past events that are no longer relevant but still affect you emotionally, highlighting a sense of confusion and the need for closure or recognition in your emotional relationships.
The Drive-Thru and Hiding The drive-thru bell ringing symbolizes the noisy distractions or the expectations coming from the outside world—a world in which you may not feel prepared to engage. Hiding away as you clean can represent your fear of judgment or criticism, illustrating your inclination to avoid conflict or stressful situations. It could also reflect feelings of inadequacy—striving to present a "clean" or acceptable version of yourself while simultaneously grappling with the reality of your situation.
Going to Sleep in the Dream Concluding your dream by opting to go to sleep represents a wish to escape or self-protect. Sleep here symbolizes a retreat from the pressures around you—a temporary release from emotional and mental burdens. It may suggest a deeper desire for rest and healing, perhaps indicating that your current state of exhaustion from tension and unresolved feelings is leading you to seek solace in sleep.
Overall Interpretation In essence, your dream reflects your struggles with anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and the need for control amidst chaos. It highlights an ongoing inner conflict between your responsibilities and personal relationships, the comfort of isolation versus the demands of social interactions, and a yearning for healing and resolution.
Consider this dream as an invitation from your subconscious to address the aspects of your life that feel overwhelming—perhaps seeking professional support or leaning into healthy coping strategies. The imagery of cleaning and needing light suggests that while the process may feel daunting, bringing clarity to your emotions can pave the way towards healing and renewal.